As you can see from the crude chart above, Koy Detmer has a wide array of
talents.

He can hold for field goals from a wide array of angles and distances.

He can throw touchdown passes from all over the field. The extra "C" in the
corner stands for Cleveland. Why? Because one time I saw him throw a
touchdown pass all the way from Cleveland, right into Todd Pinkston's
fingertips in Veterans Stadium. I even asked the security guard "Hey, where
did that ball that just dropped in from the sky come from?" He told me that
it was Koy Detmer, practicing from Cleveland. If I wasn't holding two beers
in my each hand, I would have taken a picture.

He also sometimes takes a nap right at midfield. Why? Because he can. He
owns the joint. Besides, it takes a lot of rest for his body to grow such a
lush forest of neck fur.